Sunday, 27 March 2011


Heart sorrow full, followed by pale phantoms

He winds his way through darkened avenues.

Far in the distance, the echo-yap of

A hell hound’s bark shatters the silence.

This citadel of restless, walking dead,

Holds not the warmth of a beating human heart;

Save one.

The fading heart of Lillibet.

Suddenly, the fear of being alone,

Is outweighed by fears of being shadowed.

There is blood on the moon, cries from the ground,

For in this place only the dead are found.


  1. Very moving poem. I can almost feel the sadness, the loneliness and the fear. And yet beneath all that a need to believe. Great work.

  2. Thank you Linda.
    So pleased that the sense of loss and hope conveyed to the reader. x

  3. Love these phrases:
    "the echo-yap of / A hell hound’s bark"
    "There is blood on the moon"

    Not too fond of:
    "shatters the silence" - a bit cliche. And from the look of the poems you've posted here, you can write something more unique.

    All in all, I love the dark mood and I am soooo intrigued by who Lillibet is and what she's doing in this creepy place. Hints of a larger, wonderful story.

    I do apologize if this is more feedback than what you wanted. (I run a writer's critique community, so finding the good and the less-than-good in a work of art is what I've learned to love.)

    Best to you!

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  5. Thank you so much for your comment Court Ellyn - I think you are probably right. "Shatters the silence" came too easily for it to be right. I am going to give that some thought.
    Again, thanks for taking the time to comment; much appreciated. :-)

  6. I'm thinking that "splinters the silence" is much better. Gives a greater sense of an actual action taking place.

  7. Oh, yeah. That's better. "Splinters" seems to convey more pain also.