The horror of the camera lens: Official Author Photo photoshoot in Paris.

#NCWR POST
As you know if you follow the blog, this September saw me heading to Paris on retreat. The focus of the retreat was visibility, and as part of that we were to undertake a professional photoshoot with the incredibly talented Regina Wamba of  Mae I Design (http://www.maeidesign.com.)

1. Pretending that it isn't happening.
The classic introvert safety net -
when things get scary, retreat and
read a book. The architecture
in Monmarte was just beautiful
and whimsical. 

Regina is an incredibly talented photographer and artist, and has been responsible for the creation of many USA TODAY best selling novels' covers. Her photography is magical, and so although the thought of having a photoshoot filled me with an almost panic attack inducing fear (quite honestly and literally) I was excited by the idea of it.

I have always hated having my photograph taken. As an extreme introvert, and somebody who is incredibly hard on themselves, having a camera pointing at me has had the same adrenalin rush as being faced with a hungry T-Rex.

Despite having been an out there and proud author for the last six years, I had not got around to getting my professional headshot done ---- and the retreat made me face the truth that it wasn't just my abject fear of being photographed, but something else - something much deeper.

2. I saw the inside projected outwardly
and that was hard to accept. The
defensive and yet powerful arm
cross, kind of says it all. 

It wasn't just that I feel silly, and weird looking, and 2 stone overweight, and gangly legged, and dough faced, and triple chinned - I was actually feeling VERY awkward about seeing myself as a serious author - of taking me and my work seriously... I know right?!

The NCWR retreat was all about facing this idea - and I soon realised that I was absolutely not alone in either of these fears. As much as we were all excited to be attending the retreat, of learning together and of growing together -- and drinking too much French wine together, we were all absolutely FREAKING TERRIFIED of the photoshoot. Excited but terrified.

Talking, we discovered that regardless of gender, our month running up to the shoot had been full of anxiety, preparation, mental strengthening, and outfit planning.

3. Allowing my true creative self to
be caught on camera was
exposing.

I don't think I fully understood until that moment what an integral thing our outside was to our inside. I'm a girl who has always prided herself on not being sucked into all that 'beauty' stuff - most days, I go make up free; it's not a strange thing to me to have a selfie with no make up, or to do the school run. Most days, I barely brush my hair - and I've never really understood how someone can actually physically spend a couple of hours getting ready for an event etc.... perhaps now I do, LOL.

We were all so self-conscious that Regina had originally planned to do our photoshoots in private slots, but like freaked out zebra in the presence of a lion, we huddled together and in the end, we tag teamed it. There was something really wonderful about working together, encouraging each other, complimenting each other, reassuring each other --- and laughing; laughing lots.

4. Doing a photoshoot with
friends was so much more fun
than doing it alone. I know
exactly who I'm laughing at
here - my dear friend
+Carlyle Labuschagne 

Regina is a picture witch - she has this ability to capture not just the outside but the inside - she has the magical ability to showcase that unique beauty that is within all of us. We had a fabulous two day shoot, one day in the gardens of the Musee du Rodin in Paris, in a glorious (almost too hot) day, and the following day, we headed to the beautiful, sublime and architecturally stunning, Monmarte Cemetery.  It was fun - it was empowering and it was revealing.

Two days ago, I got the 100 or so photos we took into my in-box. I wasn't sure what I was expecting but I was surprised to feel very mixed emotions. I had been so high on the days of the shoot - and then it was like being hit by a train. There was me, hundreds of me - being author, being creative, being professional -- being a grown up! Yes, a woman, a woman with flaws, and ugly spots, and beauty, and power, and dreams, and ambitions, and love, and laughter, and heartsease, and friendship - and it freaked me out. I barely recognised myself even though I knew myself.

5. Seeing my sense of dreams
and ambitions played out
on film, and most
importantly, seeing myself
as a grown up at last. 

And I trashed through them, groaning and moaning and getting upset, not seeing perhaps what I had wanted to see - - but it wasn't because it wasn't there, but because I was still looking through eyes that belonged to the me that had spent a lifetime never really feeling quite good enough, through eyes that were embarrassed to step out and stand up for who I am, who was ashamed of being so forward, and afraid that I would be humiliated, criticised or brought down ---- so I STOPPED MYSELF right there and then and gave myself a BIG TALKING to! That shit has got to stop.

6. Taking myself and my art
seriously is the first step in
acknowledging myself as creative

I mean, seriously, THAT. SHIT. HAS. GOT. TO. STOP.

And I looked with my new eyes. My future me in the now eyes, and I saw that there were photos there that were beautiful, that there were photos that expressed the inner parts of me - and that was who I damned well was, and I was doing okay.

So if you know that you are needing to go through this whole process, I have a couple of pieces of advice -

1) Invest appropriately; pay the top whack based on research and recommendations - save in a penny jar if you have, too. You need someone whose work you love, who is going to take time with you, who is going to make you feel 'normal' and who is going to show the magic. If you can, book an appointment with +Regina Wamba - she travels the world for various events and she's always got her camera with her.

2) In the meantime - if you can't afford who you really want, get together with a talented friend and do a 'mock' location shot - find somewhere beautiful and play and laugh and see what comes out - some of our favourite shots were taken with each other's iPhones whilst Regina was busy photographing 'properly'.

3) Take time over really thinking about what you want to convey through your wardrobe. I wanted two very different looks of the multi-faceted side of my job; the gothic paranormal author, and the event planner and coach.

So now, here I am, sharing the results of that photoshoot and I'd love to know which is your favourite and which should be the one you think I should choose to send out on those first press releases I'm going to send out :)

The Renaissance of The Knight Trilogy

I am delighted to share with you the new look for The Knight Trilogy. The first series that I wrote, The Knight Trilogy remains incredibly dear to my heart. It is this series which I have to thank for launching my author career and for introducing to me to a community of readers who have remained loyal and supportive throughout the years.

So here it is, and I hope you agree that it is really beautiful, and at last I feel that the outside reflects some of the poetry, beauty and romance that lurk within the pages of 'The Knight Trilogy'

So for those of you who aren't familiar with The Knight Trilogy, here are the blurbs.

THE FOREST OF ADVENTURES

Seventeen-year-old Mina Singer doesn't believe in love at first sight or any of that other nonsense written about in books, Then the mysterious Blake Beldevier arrives with the snow and Mina is catapulted  into a world she thought only existed in fairytales - only all fairytales have a  wicked witch, and Morgan Le Fay is the wickedest witch of them all. 

IMMORTAL BELOVED

As events take a dark and tragic turn, Blake Beldevier is forced to face his demons and atone for his terrible crime in the Egyptian Underworld. 
With Morgan resurrecting dark and bloody rites,  it is up to the damsel to rescue her knight in a race against time, gods and monsters. 
And with Morgan Le Fay's designs on Blake's heart, there isn't a minute to lose.

STAR FIRE

Egypt changed them all, and now the Knights Templar are aware of Blake and Mina's transgressions, they will stop at nothing to ensure the protection of the ancient secret. 
As blood rites, murder and crimes sweep the realm.  Blake and Sam are forced to undertake the ultimate quest, the acquisition of The Holy Grail - and if they fail it's a matter of life and death. 

Book One is currently on Free eBook download and you can find out more and pick up the links at www.katiemjohn.com

THE NEW PAPERBACK COVERS WILL BE AVAILABLE from OCTOBER 1st

October Frights Blog Hop: Introduction.

WELCOME
Post I

It's finally October, my favourite month of the year. The month I chose to get married in because to me, it's one of the most romantic times of the year; log fires, good red wine, long chats, snuggles on the sofa... and then of course, it's also the month of one of my favourite holidays, Halloween.

Being English, Halloween has not always been particularly celebrated - but in this house, it's a big deal; a chance to dress up, feast, make merry and remember loved ones passed.

It's also the month that I usually reconnect with my horror homies, catch up with their recent releases and what they've been doing over the year. This year, the wonderful Clarissa Johal has picked up the Halloween blog hop mantle and has organised October Frights Blog Hop. A collection of almost 50 writers of horror in all it's forms (see the blog hop link below)

I and others on the blog hop will be posting throughout the first 10 days of October to get you in the mood for early nights, creeping mists and Halloween. Embrace your dark side. Read some horror.

Just like Trick or Treating, all you need to do is metaphorically knock on the door of the blog pages below and the chances are that you'll bag yourself some really awesome swag as well as learn a whole load of interesting things about these talented authors and their books.

TREAT
To get the party started, I'm offering a signed paperback edition of 'Witchcraft' to one lucky commenter on this blog post. I'll ship it worldwide but bear in mind it will be snail mail if you're outside of Europe.

 COVER REVEAL

The Story Behind the Title. 

So here it is at last, the cover for Book Three of The Knight Trilogy. I hope you like it. Seeing it finally come together is incredibly exciting, and I have to say (poor form though it is) I absolutely love it. It really sums up the darker aspects of Book Three. 

Book Three has always been called 'Star Fire' and the name has great importance to Mina. Star Fire an incredibly symbolic name and the notions of Star Fire have been around for thousands of years. 

The Star Fire is known for being one of the earliest recorded Mystery Schools from Ancient Egypt. It was a school of women only, and members of which were recognised by their scarlet robes. They were believed to drink the blood of their own menstrual blood in order to reach an enlightened state of universal, cosmic knowledge. The link between blood-drinking and enlightenment has more recently been the subject of much recent scientific exploration and there have been links found between the drinking of blood and the stimulation of the pituitary gland. 

As part of the Golden Thread, Secret History belief it is believed that references to Star Fire in numerous works of literature and are are a sign of the writers engagement with the occult - possibly even their involvement in the secret Templar organisations. 

Most famously is Shakespeare's reference to Star Fire in Lady Macbeth's soliloquy, "Stars hide your fires, show not my deep and dark desires." (Act 1 Scene 3) is often stated as part of the evidence bank that Shakespeare was aware of the connection between star fire and the occult - and that this awareness comes from a personal engagement with secret organisations. 

As if my research of Ancient Egyptian Mystery schools and the fact that I was teaching Macbeth to my GCSE group wasn't enough of an influence on the title, perhaps the fact that I was listening to a lot of Mumford & Sons ' at the time. For those not quite so obsessed with this band as I am, they lift and adapt the Shakespearean quote above in their song, 'Roll Away Your Stone', 

 "Stars hide your fires

These here are my desires" 

COVER REVAMPS. 

As well as revealing the cover for Book Three I thought I might also share with you the new covers that have been designed for Book One and Two. It felt right that they should all be revised in order to create a real sense of unity across the Trilogy.