How Do You Get People To Take You Seriously?

Today, I was asked this question by a fellow creative; not an author but someone who is clearly fighting the same demons that I see being fought in the author community all the time.

You take yourself seriously -
you step out
into the world and you 'be'
who you want to be in the future.
This is me signing in Paris this
 summer.  This didn't
happen by accident. I made
it happen.

We didn't have long; it was a snatched conversation and I literally had a child hanging off my back at the time.

But I hope in that short 3 minute conversation, I instilled these important messages.  So what did I say in response to his question?

• Firstly, before you can ask others to take you and your art seriously, you have to take yourself and your art seriously - you invest in your art; you seek out those who are where you want to be and you observe, study, reach out, learn from them and then emulate them, discovering your own unique 'you' along the way. 

• You have to stop apologising for not being good enough - as a creative, you are constantly evolving, improving (You'll never be 'good enough' but you are as good as you need to be at this point) 




• You invest in your community. You give to the creative tribe, and you give - and then you give some more - and do you know what? It comes back. You build friendships, relationships, mutual respect - I refer to it as 'TRIBE' but you may just as well call it your 'ARMY'. 

You build an army of fellow creatives and you look after your
comrades, you nurture the friendships, and you learn from each other.
You support one another and you trust one another

and most importantly, 

You define yourself as artist and you live
your life as artist. 

• You stop waiting for others to define you as serious (sic, successful, talented, worthy, valid) YOU DEFINE YOURSELF as ARTIST. As CREATIVE. You are entirely free to be who you want to be. As my mentor, Janet Wallace  (Founder of Social Deviants) would say, "Be the future you in the present." Stop waiting for the fabled land and make it here, right now. 

I say these things like they're easy, as if they are a magic potion - and trust me, I know they're not. Unshackling the doubt demons, the fear of ridicule, the little voice that whispers 'you're delusional', 'You're a pipe-dreamer' is hard - and for some it's harder than others. 

We live in a world that prioritises money and celebrity and tries to measure everything within those terms - but the creative life isn't like that, and when you try to fit your art into such measurable quantities, that's when the tension and the doubt, and the fear smacks you in the face. 

There's a sense that unless you're doing everything on some crazy epic scale; you're topping the charts, you're making millions, you're winning awards, you're featured in magazines, on the television, that your name is part of pop-culture rhetoric, then you're a failure - that you're not serious... but that's.... well, it's rubbish! 

Nobody has the right to EVER tell you that your art isn't worthy, isn't valid, isn't 'proper'. Believe in yourself and believe in your art - and hold your head up high and wear your armour well - and if you've been wise enough to follow my advice - you're army will be standing right behind you. 

Have a wonderful Week. Go and make beautiful things, moments, and friendships. 

Kate x

Author Demons: Conquering the Fear of Reviews.

This morning I opened the Goodreads page for the first ARC reviews of 'When Sorrows Come' which have just started to come in. It's always an incredibly scary moment, no matter how many books down, no matter how many previous good experiences, no matter how much you know in your soul, your head and your bones that the story is good - it's damned good because it came from a place of truth, of integrity, of experience.

Whenever I go onto Goodreads, I literally have to dare myself to do it, and when I click that dashboard button, it's almost as if my stomach sees those little red stars before my head. It was with the greatest relief and soul-soaring delight that there were no 1 stars or 2 stars ---- note that is how I work. I check off the low stars before the high stars; it's text book isn't it? That self doubt, that fear that you've f-ed it up. That you've made an ass of yourself. That you're just not good enough. (Sorry to you newbies who are hoping those feelings are going to go away, they might not)

And when I had scanned from the bottom up, going past the empty 1 star, the empty 2 bar and the empty 3 star I began to relax. It's okay - it's all going to be okay.

I always have these feelings, but they've been quadrillioned for 'When Sorrows Come' for a couple of reasons. 1) Its' COMPLETELY different genre for me. It's contemporary YA - I guess it would be labelled for ease as Contemporary Romance. 2) It slays many personal demons. It's the story I had to write - and if it hadn't been for the freedom and challenge of NaNoWriMo I wouldn't - the internal editors would have destroyed it.

I was worried readers would find some elements too far fetched, even though there are so many personal first hand experiences woven through the scenes and characters. I was worried readers would find it too heavy; it deals with mental health, death, love, obsession, self-harm, substance abuse --- yep, all in one story, but as one reviewer said, "these things all feed off one another" - and yes, yes they do.

So, I guess the point of this rambling post is
DON'T BE AFRAID
DON'T DOUBT
TRUST YOUR STORY.
TRUST YOUR READER.

But at the same time, if you are afraid, if you are in doubt, if there is a worry you've failed your reader, then USE those demons to make it the best story your heart can write. Your readers will see the truth, they will see the authenticity, they will share with you and cry with you, and that's what this is all about - those deeply, intimate human connections between reader and writer.

You can pre-order your copy of 'When Sorrows Come'
US http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B016P1X4I2
UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B016P1X4I2
CA http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B016P1X4I2

Bloggers and Authors: War & Peace.

This Friday I sent out some Twitter #FF love to some of my favourite Book Bloggers, spreading the love between this author and some amazingly supportive people who have helped me on my journey to selling thousands of copies of my book and helping me to personally connect with my readership.

I've read with some incredulity that there is (or certainly seems to be) a certain tension between Authors and Bloggers. I just don't understand this -  *head-desk*.  It's not an overt thing but every now and then there are mutterings on the old Twitter stream or in various posts; usually when some author/blogger drama is erupting.

There was one last week (purposely keeping out of that one) and out the old tension came, [sic] "Bloggers are evil" v "Writers are precious and precocious". To be fair there have been those spectacular circus-moments of social networking when some poor misguided author (I always assume to be intoxicated because they wouldn't surely commit such kamakaze self destruction otherwise) responds to a Blog Post about their book. These attacks are rare but excite a lot of valid criticism, but rare or not - they give a lasting impression. As we all know, it only takes one rotten apple to spoil the taste of the rest.

As a writer I've been involved in the on-line book community for over two years and I have to say I have had nothing but positive experiences. I've also been the beneficiary of some incredible generosity. That DOES NOT mean that I have never received a bad review or a cutting blog post about my work. Fortunately they have been few and far between (enough not for me to  knock my confidence or belief in my work). I always read all blogposts and reviews of my work; always with the humility before opening it that if they liked and loved it, then I am relieved and happy and if they didn't that is entirely their right.

Bloggers are people and it would be foolish and arrogant to assume that everybody you met in your day to day life fell in love with you - why is it any different for a blogger and your work?

Book blogging is a big commitment, it requires dedication, inspiration and effort. It has many rewards and is a great way of sharing and connecting with people, but every blog is the personal domain of the blogger and their opinions and critiques should not be censored because they are 'afraid' of booklash. (I meant to write backlash but I kind of like the pun)

There is no denying that a negative review, especially on a very successful and 'influencial' blog can be damaging to a writer's potential sales and it is incredibly galling if the reviewer has clearly misunderstood your work or clearly rushed / scanned the reading of it. Sometimes their review is biased by outside influences ie/ they don't like the genre

So whether a newbie (or intoxicated) may I offer this very-simple-never-to-be-broken rule: NEVER respond to a negative review or blog - never, not even to "inform of inaccuracies."

IF YOU MUST respond then do it positively: Find links to three of your most glowing reviews and Tweet and FB them. That way you can rest peaceful that you have regained control of the situation.

Finally but importantly THANK YOU to all those wonderful bloggers who have helped me on my journey and become good friends.