One of The World's Tiniest Book Launches in One of The World's Tiniest Cocktail Bars.

#StartSmallDreamBig

I'm heading off to UTOPiA in a month and having been nominated for a couple of awards for my book 'When Sorrows Come' and my series, 'Beautiful Freaks', I was feeling under increased pressure to find a drop-dead gorgeous evening gown (not that I need any encouragement, I love evening dresses) 

However, several weeks later and having tried on over 40 different dresses, every single one somehow wasn't right - either that or it looked pretty much the same as one of the 5 I have already hanging in my wardrobe. 

I was sat having a coffee, feeling a little deflated when I got to thinking that £200 / $300 was a hell of a lot of money for a dress I was going to wear just a handful of times. I began to think of ways that I could perhaps spend that money more wisely on attaining my life-plan. 

Coincidentally, the very next day, we stopped off at a new shop that had opened in my home town. It is the HQ office of a cocktail hamper company, founded by an interesting female entrepreneur. She wanted to create an office that was a joy to work in rather than the industrial unit office she had currently been renting. She chose one of the cute little Victorian fronted shops that had once been a florists, and now, as well as having a pretty office, she opens up the front of it as a tiny miniature cocktail bar. 

EUREKA, I would take that £200 and hold a perfectly miniature book launch party / signing. The cocktail bar will take just about 10 people - the perfect number of people as one of my very first solo signings. 

Then, life is strange; there are several other creative projects happening in my life at the minute, and for some reason, they all seem to be connecting with one another. One of these projects is working with women in the local community who have turned their back on traditional, patriarchal corporate jobs and professions to pursue their own path, create their own companies, and to sell their own services. TAP (The Academy of Possible) has recently been established, and it's a social evolution project that aims to connect women with skills with one another, so we can become cheerleaders and supporters for each other, both on a very practical sales level, and on an emotional, motivational level. 

As part of these two strands of my life, I had the idea that I would use the miniature signing in the miniature cocktail bar to make a miniature documentary on the theme of #StartSmallDreamBig, with the aim of inspiring other people to take that first step into doing something bold, social and extraordinary.

I'm not going to lie, the thought of a signing, where I will be reading, petrifies me. I'm still coming to terms with my identity as an author - which by 8 books down, I should have nailed already. And yet, there are reasons why I am 8 books down and never done a social launch party for one of my books... reasons that are complex and reasons that I know many others share. 

That's the aim of this project, to inspire folks to step outside of their comfort zones, but in a safe way - a bit like a controlled explosion, only just not with quite so much wreckage - although who knows what will happen with the added ingredient of cocktails. 

I'm being ultra brave, and fighting the fear by inviting a local journalist, the manager of a local national book store, and a high profile blogger to attend and be of the 10 guests that will be invited. I don't know if they will come, but I do know that if you don't ask, they definitely won't come. 

And if the filming is rubbish, if the reading is wobbly, if the whole thing is a little less than perfect, it doesn't matter, it will be perfectly imperfect and I will have learned a whole lot of lessons. 

Watch this space for more updates on this project, and I really look forward to hearing where you arrange your miniature signings having been inspired by this idea. 

Drop a reach out in the box <3 nbsp="" p="">

Author Demons: Conquering the Fear of Reviews.

This morning I opened the Goodreads page for the first ARC reviews of 'When Sorrows Come' which have just started to come in. It's always an incredibly scary moment, no matter how many books down, no matter how many previous good experiences, no matter how much you know in your soul, your head and your bones that the story is good - it's damned good because it came from a place of truth, of integrity, of experience.

Whenever I go onto Goodreads, I literally have to dare myself to do it, and when I click that dashboard button, it's almost as if my stomach sees those little red stars before my head. It was with the greatest relief and soul-soaring delight that there were no 1 stars or 2 stars ---- note that is how I work. I check off the low stars before the high stars; it's text book isn't it? That self doubt, that fear that you've f-ed it up. That you've made an ass of yourself. That you're just not good enough. (Sorry to you newbies who are hoping those feelings are going to go away, they might not)

And when I had scanned from the bottom up, going past the empty 1 star, the empty 2 bar and the empty 3 star I began to relax. It's okay - it's all going to be okay.

I always have these feelings, but they've been quadrillioned for 'When Sorrows Come' for a couple of reasons. 1) Its' COMPLETELY different genre for me. It's contemporary YA - I guess it would be labelled for ease as Contemporary Romance. 2) It slays many personal demons. It's the story I had to write - and if it hadn't been for the freedom and challenge of NaNoWriMo I wouldn't - the internal editors would have destroyed it.

I was worried readers would find some elements too far fetched, even though there are so many personal first hand experiences woven through the scenes and characters. I was worried readers would find it too heavy; it deals with mental health, death, love, obsession, self-harm, substance abuse --- yep, all in one story, but as one reviewer said, "these things all feed off one another" - and yes, yes they do.

So, I guess the point of this rambling post is
DON'T BE AFRAID
DON'T DOUBT
TRUST YOUR STORY.
TRUST YOUR READER.

But at the same time, if you are afraid, if you are in doubt, if there is a worry you've failed your reader, then USE those demons to make it the best story your heart can write. Your readers will see the truth, they will see the authenticity, they will share with you and cry with you, and that's what this is all about - those deeply, intimate human connections between reader and writer.

You can pre-order your copy of 'When Sorrows Come'
US http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B016P1X4I2
UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B016P1X4I2
CA http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B016P1X4I2

Precious Things.

It's only taken 5 years for me to finally claim the cupboard under the stairs as my own, but now that we are moving and have had to get the house ready for viewings, I've done it! And the thing that I love about it the most is that I finally get to have an author shelf.

Here it is. A lovely shelf of purple loveliness.

I love it and I thought you might be interested to hear a little bit about it. So from Left to Right here is a tour around my shelf.

Far Left: This beautiful hand-pressed woodcut is from the Witches House in Salem Massachusetts U.S.A. This was brought back from Salem this summer by my very dear friend Alison Stacey. We taught together for fifteen years and became more family than friend. She has been alongside me on this crazy journey right from the very start. She has never doubted. Always believed and I can't wait until she retires next year so that she can come on many U.S author road trips in the years to come.

The reason it is here is because my newest series, The Meadowsweet Chronicles is partly set in Salem, and the main character, Jeremiah Chase is a descendent from one of the original Salem Witch Hunters.

Middle: This small laser cut piece of paper art is from the Porte du Secrets exhibition centre in Paimpont, The Foret de Broceliande, Brittany. It depicts the forest and standing together in conversation, the wizard Merlin and Morgan Le Fay. The Forest of Broceliande is one of the primary settings of book 3 of the Knight Trilogy. Home to Merlin's Tomb, The Crystal Lake, The Knights Templar Chapel, The Valley of No Return, The Fountain of Eternal Youth, the forest of Broceliande and Paimpont is a magnet for all those who follow the Arthurian legends.

We go camping each year in Paimpont (Or Paint-Pot as it's affectionately become called by my family) and I drag the hubby and the two Mud-Puddles around all the various Arthurian landmarks, much to their excitement LOL.

Right: This selection of semi precious stones, Rose Quartz, Amethyst and Cornelian are some of my favourite stones. I'm a believer in Earth energy and I find them both beautiful to look at and calming. I like to be surrounded by beautiful things, and for me, semi-precious stones are some of the most beautiful things to be found in nature.

Right Top: This is where my author life began, with the writing of 'The Forest of Adventures'. When I began writing it, I truly believed that this was my one and only novel. It was a story I had been wanting to write since my own teenage years and there is so much of myself and my teenage experience woven into the pages of this dark fairy tale. I had no idea with the writing of those first words that I would go onto write and publish a further 8 books, countless short stories, travel around the world as part of an amazing book world, become the founder of a really special publishing company and the creator of a UK book convention.
For a long time I hid this book away. It's not the very best of my craft, little could I have known how much I would grow and develop as a writer, but I've come to acknowledge that it is the very best of my soul - and now it sits proudly as a reminder of where I started and where I have travelled to. This book will always be the most special of all of them.

You can find out more about me and my books over at my official website www.katiemjohn.com

So what's on your special shelf? I'd love for you to share in the comments box.

Utopia 2 months on

This post is a week early, but as I am going on holiday next week, and I am really rubbish at scheduling posts, here goes.

UTOPIA and TRIBE: A POWERHOUSE OF AWESOMENESS.
So the effects of Utopia have calmed a little. Fellow Utopians are busying away with their WIPS and other cons, and all the other craziness of life that is the life of an author. However, what has happened out of that great explosion of socialisation is the cementing of some extraordinary friendships.

I have found a tribe, a sisterhood, and we speak most days and at least a couple of times a week via Facebook messaging, and we're getting brave enough to even attempt a proper video call -  I know, crazy social cats that we are.

This is what ultimately Utopia has given me - the feeling that I am not alone, and for someone who doesn't really mind going it alone, or at least that's what I have convinced myself over the years, the effect of friendship, understanding and shard vision has been quite transformatory. (Yep, making words up again)

BUILDING CHAPTER.CON: THE POWER OF THE TRIBE
It's this sense of tribe that has allowed me to embrace my fears and charge forward with Chapter.Con in a way that has made some crazy dream a few months ago into a serious reality. When I look at website, how full and rich the con promises to be, I am excited -- and I am proud of what I have built. However, it would not have been built without the love, belief, encouragement and spirit of my tribe.

My Tribe is AWESOME! Get used to that phrase because I am going to be using it a lot over the coming year. It was there willingness to reach out a hand and step up that has allowed Chapter.Con to take flight. They have promised to fly half way around the world to stand by my side, to share their knowledge, expertise, creativity and love with a UK book community.

And because of their faith and their willingness to tread this journey by my side, others have joined us. Seriously, you should check out the panel for Chapter.Con - it's mind blowing. And because of the panel, I have managed to entice a truly amazing Key Note speaker, who I can't wait to share with you at a later stage.

There's a Utopian core statement, 'Lift as You Climb' and I can not tell you how engraved this is in my heart. Creating Chapter.Con has been a real chance to payback to some people in the book world who have been there from the early days of my writing career. For example, I am so honoured to have Megan Mc Dade (From Reading Away The Days) to be our Official Chapter.Con Blog Co-ordinator and I know we are both extremely grateful to Jo Michaels who is acting as a Mentor and Guide (as well as one of my soul-sisters). Having Megan on board has allowed me to hand all of that side over to her and for a great blog team to be created. Utopia taught me to do that - to trust, to collaborate, to hand over to others. Something I've never really been very good at.


Then I get a reach out from the lovely Dena Ellis Oneal - a chance meeting at Utopia caused a spark of creativity. She wanted to know about Readers, and whether there was a special place for them at Chapter.Con - hell yeah! Without readers there are no authors (well not ones that eat) so between us we created the Chapter.Con Book Club, 'Reading My Way to Chapter.Con'. This is a brilliant idea on so many levels. You can find out more about it at the official website Book Club page (linked) or by visiting the Unofficial Facebook Page (linked)

Oh, yeah, about that! So because Megan and the blogging team, and Dena are amazing, they are establishing the joint fansite and book club group page for Chapter.Con so that the community can really start building.

So that's Chapter.Con and I guess you can tell from how much of the post it has taken up just how much life time it has taken up too.

However, other great things have been happening too. I have embarked on a currently secret project with two of the most phenomenally inspiring women I have ever met. It's a really exciting project and one which I am going to take immense pride and pleasure in sharing with you in a few months time when details have been secured. All I can really say is I AM EXCITED and INSPIRED!

WRITING LIFE.
Book Three of The Meadowsweet Chronicles is half written; progress has been a little slower than hoped, but I'm still perfectly on schedule according to the XCEL spreadsheet. I love spending time with my WIP - at the moment, with everything else going on, it's a perfect escape. Because it is Book Three, the characters pretty much write themselves; they are living real people who live and love and battle inside my head.

Planning out the next three books in the series has given me the confidence to just sit down and write without worrying - as a result, when I do get an hour or two, the word count jumps up. it is a direct result of listening to the UTOPIA panel on series, and the advice of Rachel Higginson and Bella Roccaforte that inspired me to take that goat by the throat and plot it all out. See, panels aren't just about ideas, they are about action.

However, due to the explosion that has been Chapter.Con, my plans to serialise 'Beautiful Freaks' are a little delayed (only by a week or so, but with my spreadsheet, that could be a problem.) I have a rescue plan in mind though.

Who owns your life story?

I've just had this meme flash up on my Facebook timeline and it got me thinking about something I have thought about a lot.

It's an interesting point, one for which I spent many MANY hours discussing as part of my Autobiography module on my MA Lit course; the idea that there is no absolute or fixed truth in personal history, just different perspectives, perceptions and responses to experiences, which all lead to a truth for each individual; which is still a truth even if we don't agree with it.

One of the reasons I have found this particular idea complex is because of my own personal history. At the age of thirteen my father suffered a full mental breakdown and the manifestation of serious bi-polar and personality disorders, which led to him being hospitalised on many occasions. Twenty years later he is better than he was, but he is still a very damaged and vulnerable man; and I guess on some level, all those who loved him are a little bit the same.

The meme suggests that those who might be badly portrayed should have behaved better, but so often other people's 'bad' or negative behaviour comes out of their own damage and suffering. Does this make them entirely responsible? I believe so but there are caveats. What about behaviours suffered due to addiction or abuse survival? What about behaviours conducted because of psychological illnesses? You see, it's a far more complicated issue than the meme suggests - as empowering as it is.

The experiences I lived, some of them truly horrific, at a formative time of my development, have of course influenced who I am both in my daily life and as an author. My own psychology clearly plays a part in my creative outputs.

For a long time, I didn't write anything 'public' about living with a parent with mental illness, not because I was ashamed, far from it, I believe we should all start talking about it more openly, but because although it was very much MY story, it was also the story that belonged to my father and my mother; as a result it has became the big elephant sitting on the writing desk.

How can something so significant to my own make-up be kept hidden? I've gone around in circles for years about my responsibility to share about my experiences in the hope that it might offer strength, inspiration, information and hope to other young people living with parents who don't quite fit the job description.

A few months back I wrote a short story for a Radio 4 completion titled 'Mad Dad', which was the first time I actually wrote autobiographically about this period in my life. Before submitting it, I spoke with my mother about her feelings on it. That conversation was too personal to share here, but the outcome was that I should go for it and submit it. It didn't get accepted, which I had prepared myself for as it was stated in the guidelines that they were looking for works that were lighter in their tone and I guess that mental health was a shade of darkness to far.

I have to say, that part of me is incredibly relieved. It would have been a big step to go so audibly public with such a personal story, and I'm not really sure how I would have felt hearing my world from the mouth of another. So 'Mad Dad' now sits in my trunk, waiting to be unpacked at another time in another place.

I know it isn't just me that has battled with this whole idea of life story ownership - there was a controversy over this idea of story and experience ownership in the novel, 'The Help', where those involved in the story believed that they had been exploited for financial gain; especially when the film rights were sold. Should everybody portrayed have received a cut of the money?

And on the other side of things, I guess it's interesting to think about how we might be represented if we were to be written into the autobiography of someone we knew - would we feel confident that they'd treat our behaviours, motivations and actions warmly?

Has anybody else struggled with this dilemma? I'd love to hear your stories and ideas.

This writer's life ... The attack of the lazies.

Welcome back creativity. The sun is shinning, the birds are singing - the muse is dancing. Creativity is a strange thing - well in my experience. I can easily understand the link between artistic genius and insanity, (however I seem to be having more of the insanity and a little less of the genius!)

So why haven't I been writing?

For me creativity is a fickle and bewitching thing. She will quite often arrive with the sounds of trumpets and then fade away in the middle of the night leaving me a little confused as to why I'm sitting on the sofa unable to face the WIP.

I'm amazed by some of my fellow writers who appear able to keep up a relentless pace of productivity. I click onto their Amazon site and see that they have produced 12 or so (yes that wasn't a type error) novels in the last two years and I sigh with something like a mixture of longing and perplexity.

You see it's not a lack of inspiration. It isn't writer's block. It's a different beast entirely. The stories are there in my head. I'm often mentally writing whole scenes as I'm doing the school run, the ironing, the hoovering, the commute to work, the shopping, the ... (ah, the joys of the writer mom with day job too)

I too have at least 12 novels all there waiting like little beans tucked up warm and snug in the dark of my imagination but it's getting them actually written. And I can't even say it's a time issue. There has been plenty of time in the last month when I've been sat on the sofa stuffing my face with baklava and watching Man versus Food (Which is understandable because it's awesome but for the third run through?) when I could have been sat at the desk writing the last 10,000 words of my new novel.

Yes, you noted that... the LAST 10,000 words, so the other 65,000 have been written and I'm idling away the time when I should be racing towards victory and pounding my deadline into the ground - which oh, thinking about it was meant to be June. I guess we'll make that July now. (Note to self, go change the dates on website)

I've tried to be more disciplined; to write a daily quota but it just isn't me - my muse just rattles her chains to the point I cannot focus.

Now you see, I'm at the end of this post and I haven't even managed to arrive at the solution I hoped the writing of this would offer LOL. So I guess it's up to you guys to offer me your tips on how to beat the attack of the lazies.